You realize that it is impossible to transform an ordinary person into a genius, right? People are either a genius or they aren’t. You can destroy their hopes of using their genius to further human knowledge but you as a parent can’t create genius where it does not exist. Read more
This is where we talk about what it means to care for our homes and ourselves and any other humans (and/or animals) lucky enough to share those spaces with us.
How safe is too safe? When does my concern as a parent turn my children timid? Is that even possible? Have I stumbled into the realm of nature vs. nurture? Have I lost complete control of this article already?
Probably. Read more
Most people lie. Maybe you don’t but I do. I lie less now than I used to. But that is only because my parents are no longer alive and I am divorced. Read more
In view of recent events, I figured it would be a good idea to put someone else on my bank accounts so that if I die, the 400 bucks in checking won’t end up stranded in probate or wherever else it might end up. I have a will but it’s a mess since half of what’s in there no longer applies. Read more
Winter is the season wherein getting me to go anywhere is nearly impossible. There is whining, excuses and sometimes I just sit down on the couch and refuse to move. It isn’t pretty but it is fun. At least for me. This winter I attempted to learn to knit. I totally failed but there’s always next year. Read more
When Older Son was young my constant refrain to him was, “Careful!”
Now that he is an adult I say, “Be thoughtful” which is pretty much white noise to someone who is 23. All they have are thoughts. Being young is a lot of work, you have an entire personality ot build.
I’m 46. I’m pretty much built. Everything is either hardening into place or just getting worse. But for young adults, it’s all thinking and building and becoming all the time.
Exhausting. Read more
Taking care of people is hard. It can be deeply rewarding, but let’s face it, it’s also really, really hard. Whether it’s children, elderly parents, sick spouses, special needs family members, or even ourselves, taking care of human beings requires a tremendous amount of energy. And yet for mothers and other caregivers, we do it every, single day, often with little recognition or appreciation.
I have three children, a dog and a husband who works ridiculous hours, pretty straightforward stuff. I’ve been fortunate to have the choice to stay home with my kids. I often wonder if it was the right choice, but that’s a conversation for another day. The point is, that even with all of the privilege in my life, caring for my family is difficult and unrelenting.
One of the things that has kept me sane(ish), is the support I get from my incredible friends. Aileen and I text each other, A LOT. We share stories of the neverending piles of laundry and the demoralizing stack of dishes in the sink. This support makes our lives better. Not easier, but more fun and less lonely.
When we started Persistiny, one of the things we wanted to do was provide a community where women got more support for this vital work. As many of you know, we’re working on a mobile app, Tend, that will be an amazing source of recognition and encouragement. In the meantime, we wanted to give women a chance to share in the fun, loving, emotional, silly support that we give one another.
So, to celebrate International Women’s Day, we’re launching a Facebook group – Tending the Home Fires. We’ll share our own shit shows here and encourage you to do the same. Watch the stories for the “best of” text interchanges between us and we’ll post content here that might be encouraging or helpful to other caregivers.
The group is closed and moderated to provide a place where we can be safe and vulnerable. Please make sure to read the group rules before posting or commenting. We can’t wait to share the love with you all – please join us.
It just occurred to me a few minutes ago that I should really clear my browsing data.
Why, you might ask? Well, thanks for asking! Read more
When someone you love dies you realize that time is no longer of the essence. It returns to what it was when you were a kid, elastic and often oppressive. It goes too fast or too slow. No one seems in charge of it and so you are swept along in the wake, starting and stopping on a schedule you don’t understand and no one can explain. Read more
This week marks the first anniversary of Felicia and I writing these little notes and sending them out into the universe.
Going back over the past year of posts, I am very proud of what we have accomplished. Sure, the grammar gets a little dicey and I really need to shorten my sentences but on the whole, well done us! Read more