Food Delivery Apps

I am cheap. In my family we like to call it ‘careful with money’ except when we are talking about one of my cousins. Him we just call Scott.

Just kidding. Scott throws really nice parties and never skimps on the booze. And his wife is super nice. I never get to see her because she has kids and a job and I think there’s a dog in there somewhere.

Anyway, I am cheap. Not to an embarrassing degree. I don’t go to expensive restaurants then only tip 5%. Nor do I haggle at places that aren’t the swap meet or car dealerships. Have you noticed that depending on your race and/or socio-economic background you will call a parking lot full of vans, folding tables and pop-up shades either a swap meet or a flea market?

Older Son lived through some of my cheapest phases since he has been with me since I was 22 and I have been poor a time or two since then. I was poor a few times before that but I lived with my parents and my mom was real good at hiding how much money we did not have.

So Older Son tends to hide his avocado toast habit and the other ways he spends money that he thinks I will lecture him about. I used to fuss at him about how he spent his money because I was providing a good amount of that money. He was in college and I was fanatical about him graduating without a cent of debt. Which he did. But in order to do that everyone went without in different ways.

But here’s the thing, I don’t care how he spends his money now because he has a job and supports himself and his beautiful dog, Barbara.

Barbara Wawas Instagram

What does any of this have to do with food delivery apps?

I never use them. They are amazing. They allow you to order all types of foods and have those foods brought either to your door or a curb somewhere near your door.

Felicia swears by them so I decided to give one a try. Recently I was sick and no one was home but me. I wanted pho but I knew I shouldn’t drive so I looked at the food delivery app Older Son installed on my phone. I ordered the soup.

$7.95 a bowl.

But by the time I paid for it that soup cost 17.95!

I’m not sure what I did, I know I tipped the driver 5 bucks but I don’t know what else happened.

Did I enjoy my soup?

Yes.

Was it hot when it got here?

Yes.

Was it worth paying more than double the list price for the soup?

Hell no.

I had a packet of top ramen in my cupboard and some frozen vegetables in the freezer and an egg in the fridge. I could have put all that together and saved myself seventeen dollars and ninety-five cents.

My cheap little heart shivers every time I think of it.

That being said, my mom friends bought me a gift certificate for one of these services after my dad died to help keep me and Six fed and that was delightful. I highly recommend it as a way to help your loved ones feed themselves when their lives hit a reef.

There are many new fangled things I love. Tiny cakes you make in a mug in the microwave. Mario Kart on Nintendo Switch. Streaming services. Weirdly flavored fizzy water in cans.  

But food delivery apps are just a little too rich for my blood.

And I live two short blocks away from a Trader Joe’s so I really have no excuse not to keep myself fed.

So if you use them and love them, I envy you. If any of them start delivering donuts then I will have to rethink my stance. But until then it’s drive or walk or eat what’s in the house.

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