Introvert's Social Distancing Log 1

Introvert’s Social Distancing Log, Day 1

Introvert’s Social Distancing Log, Day 1, Saturday, March 14, 2020 (so many commas, probably too many)

Well, my good intentions of getting up early, showering and eating breakfast before 9AM were shot to hell when I snorted myself awake at 10:15.

In the evening, before I fall asleep, I think myself capable of all sorts of miraculous behavior. A healthy breakfast, an ecologically minded 5 minute shower, taking time to brush my hair and apply mascara and eyeliner.

Morning me is unshowered, a banana flavored kid yogurt eaten while driving (uncomfortably eaten with the only clean spoon in the house which is those dreadful serrated grapefruit spoons), ratty hair swept up in a lopsided bun and needless to say, no makeup.

Yet I was out of bed by 11AM and I ate a bagged salad for brunch so the day isn’t a complete loss. I’ve set myself the enviable (according to me and only me) task of rereading Deanna Raybourn’s Veronica Speedwell series with pencil in hand to note all the lovely odd words she uses so I can look them up in my OED. I have an OED. I might have that tattooed on my chest in the same font gang members have their affiliations tattooed on theirs. I am exceedingly proud of my OED. If my apartment catches fire I will probably die trying to save it.

Be advised: my possession of a twenty volume, woefully out of date dictionary makes me an idiot. I bought it for myself as a divorce present. My friend bought herself breast implants as a divorce present and she has a devoted boyfriend. I have an OED and I am as alone as a woman on a desert island.

Let that be a lesson to you newly divorced humans.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Where was I? Oh, that’s right. The majority of Americans are trying to live the life I have been training for. I have been a weirdo introvert most of my life. I love being left alone (no questions about why I am divorced? I didn’t think so). I love spending days on end in my apartment alone. I am on day one of social distancing and I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to being left the fuck alone without people calling or texting to make sure I haven’t died and begun to decay.

On that note, that’s it for today. Take care of yourselves. I’ve starting to put together lists of movies and books and songs for you to listen to as you wait out this pandemic. It’s not that I don’t think you have your own taste in these things, you do. It’s just that while you’ve been living a highly social and productive life, I have been here like the bridge troll that I am, piling up things I want to read, watch and listen to.

Please try not to worry. It’s not a bad thing to go back to first principles. Try to be kind and gentle to the ones you love. And yourself.

Talk soon.

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