Welcome to the new year, that special time when we’re reminded that we’re simply not good enough as we are. We should sleep more, but also get up before the sun to work out. We should have more adventures, but also make sure you save your money. Read more books, but also spend more time with your kids. Focus on your relationship, but also on yourself. More self-care, more discipline, more, more, more. This year we’d like to suggest something different. Instead of resolutions, try recognition. Read more
A few weeks ago, Felicia and I were in Las Vegas. We were trying to get from our hotel on the strip to Flock and Fowl, which is Fremont Street adjacent. We spent a good five minutes tussling with the Lyft app before I said, “We are app developers and we can’t figure this out!” Turns out Las Vegas is so convoluted lots of people have a hard time getting the app to correctly tell drivers where to pick you up. Anyway, our app Tend will never leave you frustrated in Vegas. That is what Tinder is for! Read more
Mom meltdowns are as common as kid meltdowns. Mom meltdown averted can be as much of a parenting win as averting a kid meltdown.
I have trouble expressing how I am feeling. When I am embarrassed about those feelings, I have an even harder time. A few months ago, I bought a ring. I love this ring way more than anyone should love a thing that does nothing useful. It just sits on my finger and sometimes gets caught in my hair.
But I do love it and a few weeks ago I couldn’t find it. Read more
You all know how I feel about podcasts. I love them so much, and I’m always searching for new and exciting additions to my feed. But every once in a while, a podcast comes along that is so good, you know you’re going to devour it the second it hits your feed. The Double Shift is one of those podcasts.
The Double Shift treats mothers as whole human beings, whose experiences are shaped by motherhood, not defined by it. That’s a pretty radical concept when you think about it. Once women in our culture become mothers, we become something different; less interesting, less professionally capable, less relevant.
Journalist and podcast creator, Katherine Goldstein, uses her expertise to change that narrative, by bringing richly reported stories of mothers from all walks of life – sex workers, politicians, musicians, daycare providers. Every episode treats the featured mothers with respect and paints a picture of their unique, beautiful lives.
When Goldstein had trouble getting any of the major podcast networks to pick up The Double Shift, she turned to fellow journalist and motherhood advocate, Amy Westerfield. Westerfield wrote one of my favorite books about motherhood, Forget Having it All. She also runs the Critical Frequency Podcast Network, a women-owned company that seeks to elevate underrepresented voices in podcasting.
And there we have the beauty of mothers supporting other mothers. The Double Shift found a home within an inclusive, supportive podcast network and we get to hear stories about women like Village Auntie, Angelica Lindsey-Ali. Listen to that episode. It is so, so good.
You can be a part of the movement of mothers supporting other mothers by joining The Double Shift’s new membership platform. For $5 per month, you help The Double Shift team bring quality journalism about mothers to the airwaves, get amazing bonus content and access to an upcoming private members-only community. Join me, if only so that we can talk about the bonus Lindsey-Ali content!
I don’t know what happened. I was living my life, volunteering here and there, signing up for stuff, being where I said I was going to be, doing what I said I was going to do and then last week… Read more
I should have known my marriage would end in tears when I realized how much he admired Henry Miller. I dislike Henry Miller because he always seemed to me a man who never did his own laundry and what can a person who never looked after himself tell me about life? Miller had this quote, “Everything was for tomorrow, but tomorrow never came.” And that always pissed me off. Tomorrow only ever comes to others after you are dead. There is no tomorrow. There is only today. Read more
I am so wound up I made myself a calm down jar. I was in Target, stress shopping because I had spent the morning figuring out how to obtain burial permits for my parents, and I found a little tub of glitter. When I saw the glitter, I remembered the stories I saw a few years ago about parents making glitter jars for their preteen daughters to help them pull themselves back from the emotional ledge they pretty much live on while in middle school. Read more
When someone you love dies you realize that time is no longer of the essence. It returns to what it was when you were a kid, elastic and often oppressive. It goes too fast or too slow. No one seems in charge of it and so you are swept along in the wake, starting and stopping on a schedule you don’t understand and no one can explain. Read more
It is a tradition in my family to move a fully decorated Christmas tree. Most every woman in my family has done it once (I think my aunt Wanda did it twice but that is because she has moved over 50 times.)
I’m sure if you spend a few minutes thinking about it, you too will come up with some similarly deranged holiday tradition your family engages in.
The Guilty Feminist is such an excellent podcast. I love it so much. Whenever I listen to it, I laugh and laugh and laugh. The best part is when I listen to it with headphones in public (I like to listen to it while grocery shopping) and I laugh and snort for seemingly no reason.
The premise of the podcast is spelled out near the beginning of each episode by host, Deborah Frances-White. I will quote here since it is so well said:
“The guilty feminist, the podcast in which we explore our noble goals as 21st century feminists and the hypocrisies and insecurities which undermine them.”