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Why Am I So Angry?

Why Am I So Angry?

It’s time to start talking about anger. Healthy anger motivates, makes waves and instigates change. But there is some anger that just builds, layer on layer, until it fills us up and comes pouring out. In traffic. On line at whatever store we are unlucky enough to have to go to. Stuck behind the person who wants to haggle for 45 minutes to get their bag of 1000 scrunchies down from 5 dollars to 4.45 at the swap meet.

Why am I so angry? Nothing goes quickly at the swap meet. No-thing. Or in traffic. Or at any retail establishment anywhere ever. My food order is usually wrong. My jeans don’t fit my thick middle. Nothing about my daily frustrations are new. Same shit different day. So why am I still so angry about it? Read more

What the Hell are We Doing Here

What the hell are we doing here?

What the hell are we doing here? Well, a little history wouldn’t be amiss… Read more

Back to the Beginning of RuPual's Drag Race

Back to the Beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race

Okay. Deep breath. There have been 11 seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race. On August 19th of this year it was announced that there will be a 12th season. Many marriages don’t last as long as this show. And do you know why? Because most people do not work as hard on their marriages as RuPaul works on this show. So, in honor of RuPaul’s work and Older Son’s and my dear friend Cynthia’s love of this show, I am going back to the beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I will either rewatch or watch for the first time all 11 seasons. 

I am not committing to All Stars. There are 5 seasons of that show. That’s 16 seasons. I am only one person and I do need to do other things. If I end a gibbering idiot at the end of this, so be it. Join me as I go back to the beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

You gotta work.

From an excellent article by  

Since “Drag Race” first aired in 2009, the conversation around identity and gender has shifted tremendously. For all the show has done to challenge its audience’s notions of masculinity and femininity, it has shied away, until the most recent season, from any serious discussion about the ways the drag community intersects the trans one. There have been trans queens on the show, but the topic is a touchy one in the drag community. For most drag artists, the point is the performance; it is not their sole identity. But for those queens who identify as trans or nonbinary, their stage persona is not necessarily a performance. The centerpiece of the show is the contestants’ transforming themselves into queens, and then, after each competition, taking off their wigs and removing synthetic breasts to reappear as men. For years, “Drag Race” prioritized entertainment over any nuances of the culture. Much of the queens’ vernacular, body language and movements come from the drag world’s — especially white queens’ — interpretation of black femininity. I’ve always been uncomfortable with that phenomenon, despite how much I enjoy the show. In his essay “ ‘Draguating’ to Normal,” the academic Josh Morrison argues that by using the bodies of women, people of color and other marginalized groups, “through an often loving, well-intentioned impersonation of them,” drag “unintentionally does them discursive violence.”

She's All Fat Goes to Camp

She’s All Fat Goes To Camp

I love the She’s All Fat Podcast. But this episode, SAF Goes To Camp, is a keeper among keepers. It’s about the experience of going to fat camp as a young child or teenager.

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All the Moms

All the Moms

Dear All the Moms,

We see you working. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, we know you are doing your best.  Read more

Tending the Home Fires Facebook Group

Tending the Home Fires Facebook Group

Taking care of people is hard. It can be deeply rewarding, but let’s face it, it’s also really, really hard. Whether it’s children, elderly parents, sick spouses, special needs family members, or even ourselves, taking care of human beings requires a tremendous amount of energy. And yet for mothers and other caregivers, we do it every, single day, often with little recognition or appreciation. Read more

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays

Why have we made wishing each other joy during the darkest time of the year so difficult? Happy Holidays is perfectly reasonable because 1) a lot of important holidays happen around wintertime and 2) if you don’t know the person very well, why would you want to take the chance of making them feel left out?

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Keeping Track of it All

Keeping Track of it All

We hear it all the time from our friends and see it on social media. Women are frazzled and overwhelmed by everything they are expected to do. Whether you stay home full time with your children, or work outside of the home, we know your days and nights are filled with endless tasks. The work you do to care for your families is important and valuable, but often times that work gets overlooked. Read more

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

As we talk about forgiving others and asking someone to forgive us, we must pause to think about what forgiveness is as well as what forgiveness is not. Let’s begin with a definition of forgiveness:  to stop requiring payment, either financial or emotional.   To say to another: I am no longer holding these things against you.  Forgiveness is an act of the will.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that your feelings have changed. Read more

Getting Out the Vote

Getting Out the Vote

This past weekend, Felicia, Christine, Emilia and I joined thousands of our fellow Americans canvassing neighborhoods in an effort to get voters to the polls. Our  GOTV, or get out the vote, kicked off on Friday night with a concert in Fresno. Cake played and I have to say that after all these years, I still love them. Before the show, the crowd was greeted by Andrew Janz, the Democrat standing up to Devil Nunes in CA-22. Although there is little hope of Janz defeating Nunes, the locals wanted to make sure Nunes knows they are deeply dissatisfied with how their Representative is behaving.  John McCrea, lead singer of Cake, talked to the Fresno Bee about how these political times have impacted his willingness to interact with politicians. “I’ve pretty much studiously avoided direct political association with candidates,” he says. And yet,  “That is a luxury I can’t afford anymore.” Read more