Posts

Why Am I So Angry?

Why Am I So Angry?

It’s time to start talking about anger. Healthy anger motivates, makes waves and instigates change. But there is some anger that just builds, layer on layer, until it fills us up and comes pouring out. In traffic. On line at whatever store we are unlucky enough to have to go to. Stuck behind the person who wants to haggle for 45 minutes to get their bag of 1000 scrunchies down from 5 dollars to 4.45 at the swap meet.

Why am I so angry? Nothing goes quickly at the swap meet. No-thing. Or in traffic. Or at any retail establishment anywhere ever. My food order is usually wrong. My jeans don’t fit my thick middle. Nothing about my daily frustrations are new. Same shit different day. So why am I still so angry about it? Read more

Instead of Resolutions Try Recognition

Instead of Resolutions Try Recognition

Welcome to the new year, that special time when we’re reminded that we’re simply not good enough as we are. We should sleep more, but also get up before the sun to work out. We should have more adventures, but also make sure you save your money. Read more books, but also spend more time with your kids. Focus on your relationship, but also on yourself. More self-care, more discipline, more, more, more. This year we’d like to suggest something different. Instead of resolutions, try recognition. Read more

Alone on Thanksgiving

Alone on Thanksgiving

I am divorced. Sort of. I am in divorce limbo. Part of my new divorce limbo life is being alone on days of the year when it used to be guaranteed I would be with my spouse as well as my kids. My birthday. Easter. Thanksgiving. This year, I will be alone on Thanksgiving. Read more

Back to the Beginning of RuPual's Drag Race

Back to the Beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race

Okay. Deep breath. There have been 11 seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race. On August 19th of this year it was announced that there will be a 12th season. Many marriages don’t last as long as this show. And do you know why? Because most people do not work as hard on their marriages as RuPaul works on this show. So, in honor of RuPaul’s work and Older Son’s and my dear friend Cynthia’s love of this show, I am going back to the beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I will either rewatch or watch for the first time all 11 seasons. 

I am not committing to All Stars. There are 5 seasons of that show. That’s 16 seasons. I am only one person and I do need to do other things. If I end a gibbering idiot at the end of this, so be it. Join me as I go back to the beginning of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

You gotta work.

From an excellent article by  

Since “Drag Race” first aired in 2009, the conversation around identity and gender has shifted tremendously. For all the show has done to challenge its audience’s notions of masculinity and femininity, it has shied away, until the most recent season, from any serious discussion about the ways the drag community intersects the trans one. There have been trans queens on the show, but the topic is a touchy one in the drag community. For most drag artists, the point is the performance; it is not their sole identity. But for those queens who identify as trans or nonbinary, their stage persona is not necessarily a performance. The centerpiece of the show is the contestants’ transforming themselves into queens, and then, after each competition, taking off their wigs and removing synthetic breasts to reappear as men. For years, “Drag Race” prioritized entertainment over any nuances of the culture. Much of the queens’ vernacular, body language and movements come from the drag world’s — especially white queens’ — interpretation of black femininity. I’ve always been uncomfortable with that phenomenon, despite how much I enjoy the show. In his essay “ ‘Draguating’ to Normal,” the academic Josh Morrison argues that by using the bodies of women, people of color and other marginalized groups, “through an often loving, well-intentioned impersonation of them,” drag “unintentionally does them discursive violence.”

She's All Fat Goes to Camp

She’s All Fat Goes To Camp

I love the She’s All Fat Podcast. But this episode, SAF Goes To Camp, is a keeper among keepers. It’s about the experience of going to fat camp as a young child or teenager.

Read more

Mom meltdown averted

Mom Meltdown Averted!

Mom meltdowns are as common as kid meltdowns. Mom meltdown averted can be as much of a parenting win as averting a kid meltdown.

I have trouble expressing how I am feeling. When I am embarrassed about those feelings, I have an even harder time. A few months ago, I bought a ring. I love this ring way more than anyone should love a thing that does nothing useful. It just sits on my finger and sometimes gets caught in my hair.

But I do love it and a few weeks ago I couldn’t find it. Read more

A Year of F#ck No

A Year of F#ck No

I don’t know what happened. I was living my life, volunteering here and there, signing up for stuff, being where I said I was going to be, doing what I said I was going to do and then last week… Read more

Depression and Other Adventures

Depression and Other Adventures

I should have known my marriage would end in tears when I realized how much he admired Henry Miller. I dislike Henry Miller because he always seemed to me a man who never did his own laundry and what can a person who never looked after himself tell me about life? Miller had this quote, “Everything was for tomorrow, but tomorrow never came.” And that always pissed me off. Tomorrow only ever comes to others after you are dead. There is no tomorrow. There is only today. Read more

All the Moms

All the Moms

Dear All the Moms,

We see you working. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, we know you are doing your best.  Read more

Glitter Jars are the New Emotional Support Gerbils

Glitter Jars are the New Emotional Support Gerbil

I am so wound up I made myself a calm down jar. I was in Target, stress shopping because I had spent the morning figuring out how to obtain burial permits for my parents, and I found a little tub of glitter. When I saw the glitter, I remembered the stories I saw a few years ago about parents making glitter jars for their preteen daughters to help them pull themselves back from the emotional ledge they pretty much live on while in middle school. Read more